Randomness

the Analog Hole in my basement

Randomness

I feel like my dad a lot more now that I have a house. When you’re moving every few years its hard to amass the amount of junk you need to feel like a real Schumaker. Now that I have a basement to store scraps of wood and outdated technology I’m really feeling like I belong.

I was relegated to the basement most of the day on Saturday so after I had cleaned everything, then reorganized the dvd racks, then fixed my scion key I was really running out of things to do, so I decided to re-organize some storage bins. The  picture in the top of this post is part of what I ended up with.  The good about this picture is that I’ll never have to buy an RCA cable again!

This is what they think of you

Randomness

image

One time I saw the Weinermobile driving down 610, 2 weeks ago I saw the Herman Cain 999 bus driving into DC, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm back home. But none of this could prepare me for what I saw on 95 South a couple weeks ago.

Is this from the same people that think that people will order ‘Sex on the Beach’ as a pickup line. That works right!

Who is this drink for? Bros who ice bros? Who thinks it’s awesome that you can go up to a bartender and say ‘you got sum poise in here’? I would love some poosie in my mouth! I’m awesome and people like me because of my drink orders!

I’ll suck down sum poosie tonight that’s for sure… and by that they mean they’ll try to ironically drink this sugar and caffeine based beverage that they say they hate but actually they’re not really a man who can drink a real drink. Hemingway would put a cigarette out in your eye if you offered him ‘Sum Poosie’. It’s in a pink can for gawds sake. Is it for women? Then why does it have a girl in a bikini on the bottle. Who are they really marketing this to? and who gave them the money to produce this? Let’s make sure they’re the first up against the wall when the revolution comes.

Even god damn day…

Randomness

I can’t figure out why… But this guy is my nemisis.

I’m sure he’s a nice guy.  He’s probably some kind of cancer survivor that works really hard and volunteers for soup kitchens. But how I know him is “That guy who’s always going the opposite direction on his recumbent bike” when I’m going to or coming home from work.

Rain or Shine, Winter or Summer, He never stops… He’s like some kind of healthy terminator.

I’ve seen him close to my house and I’ve seen him on Church street in Vienna and every road in between.  He’s never happy or sad, he just has this relentless look on his face as if riding that crazy bike is the only thing that keeps him going. He’s never going very fast… always slow and steady… winning the god damn race.

Stop being dependable and hard working when I’m barely awake and hungry!

Perfect image of Tysons Corner

Life, Randomness


I just saw the most perfect image of distilled Tysons Corner ever on the way home. When I pulled up to the light at route 7 I noticed a nice BMW next to me. It was driven by a girl far too young to afford such a car. Just when I was starting to think about how was unfair that I was driving in a shitty subaru with a broken front tie-rod boot, the girl pulled a small dog from her lap and snuggled it to her face… too perfect.